I know that girls are over thinkers, but I wonder if I’m the only one who thinks the way I do. I drive myself crazy trying to pin point all of the reasons for any fault that I have or thing I do, but in reality, I blame myself too often. I put myself down too much.
This is how it goes: I feel like I always seem run in the opposite direction when a guy likes me. I sit here and over think, WHY do I do that? I analyze myself until I hurt. I came to two reasons. One is that I am afraid he just wants to use me to sleep with him, because (lets face it) most guys are looking for that and I am just simply not that kind of girl and never, ever will be. Two is that I am not completely confident and comforatable with myself. I’m not happy with my smile, I’m not happy with my nose, my forehead, my body.. but is that REALLY what is holding me back? My stupid insecurities and imperfections??
NO. I’m sick of making myself feel like shit. I’m sick of placing blame on who I am, because I don’t ever like the guys who like me. The honest truth is that they aren’t the ones for me! If I really had a REAL, solid connection with a guy.. That is when I know I truly like him. That is the moment I won’t run in the opposite direction.
I don’t want a guy who only texts me at night to hang out, I don’t want a guy who looks down on me, or doesn’t understand who I am. I need someone who can stay up talking to me until we see the sunlight and who I genuinely connect with. I’ve met guys like that in the past and those are the guys I fall for. The ones who share interests with me, who make me laugh like crazy, who treat me like we’re equal, who can talk with for hours. Once I find that person, who doesn’t try to use me, who actually wants to get to know me, who understands my humor, who makes me laugh, and who wants to meet my friends and family. HE is the right guy for me.
So no more blaming myself. Sometimes I gotta take a step back and cut it out with that over thinking crap. I might be a little over analytical sometimes, but I am beautiful. I am amazing. I am strong. And someday, I will find someone who is right for me.